Wednesday, December 29, 2010

What is my Job?




I've been thinking a lot these days about jobs. I currently have one, thankfully, but I'm looking for another one, and trying to figure out what kind of job I want. I find the most difficult aspect of this is sifting through and reconciling "The Way Life Is Supposed To Go" with "What I Want." These two things, I'm realizing, may not overlap so much. Twenty-eight years of subtle and explicit cultural and societal messages about ambition, success, career, education, etc. have become a mountain atop the latter, which I am now trying to unearth, slowly but surely.

I read something today that helps. It's by Jon Kabat-Zinn, a Buddhist teacher who wrote the book Wherever You Go, There You Are. I read one short chapter every morning before meditating. It is an excellent and accessible guide to meditation and mindful living. The passage I read this morning is called, "What is My Job on the Planet with a Capital J?" I want to share a small part of it:

Rarely do we question and then contemplate with determination what our hearts are calling us to do and to be. I like to frame such efforts in question form: "What is my job on the planet with a capital J?", or, "What do I care about so much that I would pay to do it?" If I ask such a question and I don't come up with an answer, other than, "I don't know," then I just keep asking the question. If you start reflecting on such questions when you're in your twenties, by the time you are thirty-five or forty, or fifty or sixty, the inquiry itself may have led you a few places that you would not have gone had you merely followed mainstream conventions, or your parents' expectations for you, or even worse, your own unexamined self-limiting beliefs and expectations.

...[Asking this question] may not mean that you will change what you do, but it may mean that you may want to change how you see it or hold it, and perhaps how you do it. Once the universe is your employer, very interesting things start to happen, even if someone else is cutting your paycheck.


Kabat-Zinn also talks about Buckminster Fuller in this chapter, and about how, from the depths of depression, Fuller decided to live his life from then on as if he were an employee of the universe, basing his actions on the question, "What is it on this planet that needs doing that I know something about, that probably won't happen unless I take responsibility for it?" He says that Fuller also liked to point out that, for the honey bee, it's all about the honey, but in its pursuit of honey, it becomes nature's (or the universe's) pollinator.*

It's still not easy to figure out whether I want to be a farmer, a baker, a social worker, or something else entirely, but it's reassuring to know that no matter what job I find myself doing, if I approach it right, it will be my Job.

*from Kabat-Zinn, Jon. Wherever You Go, There You Are. New York: Hyperion, 1994.

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Power of Vulnerability



I've known about TEDTalks for a while, but I've only recently started watching them regularly. Here's one of the many reasons why. Posting on my blog makes me feel vulnerable.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Rainy day soup times




It's cold and rainy here, and I am home alone for the weekend. Though there are higher priorities on my to-do list, I've been itching to make butternut squash soup for a while. With New Haven Restaurant Week looming next week, which means I'll be working double shifts every day from Sunday to Thursday at L'Orcio, and then the half-marathon in Richmond next Saturday, the weather just seemed to confirm that today is the day for soup.

This is not a food blog, and I am not nearly consistent or accomplished enough as a cook to highlight the dishes that I lovingly, if clumsily attempt. BUT, this particular recipe turned out to be pretty delicious, and makes for a pretty picture, too, so I thought I'd share.

More importantly, it gives me a chance to talk a little bit about CitySeed, the New Haven organization I have been volunteering with for the past several weeks. CitySeed's mission is "to engage the community in growing an equitable, local food system that promotes economic development, community development and sustainable agriculture." They run five weekly farmers' markets around the city and run programs to increase access of New Haven residents to fresh, local food. I've been helping them sell artisanal bread at their Wednesday downtown farmers' market and to implement a food access survey.

This Butternut Squash-Peanut Soup, (which I modified slightly, because I can't seem to stick to a recipe without putting in my own two cents), came from the bilingual cookbook that CitySeed created, called New Haven Cooks/Cocina New Haven, which features recipes submitted by New Haven residents, and which is being distributed for free to low-income residents in exchange for completion of the food access survey, and will also be sold to raise funds for CitySeed's programs.

It has been a great experience to get to know the CitySeed staff and volunteers and some local farmers and to begin to get involved in the vibrant and growing food movement in Connecticut. I love being around people who are so passionate about supporting small farmers and helping to improve access to fresh food. It helps me a lot as I try to figure out how I can best contribute to this movement. And unexpectedly, though perhaps not surprisingly, I have begun to get to know my own home state for the first time; I feel far more connected to Connecticut (ha!) than ever.

Okay, without further ado:

Peanut and Butternut Squash Soup*

1 medium butternut squash, peeled, halved lengthwise, seeds removed
1 1/2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
1 cup onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. cumin, ground
3/4 tsp. coriander, ground
3/4 tsp. curry powder
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
4 cups vegetable broth
1 1/2 cups water
1 can cannelini, garbanzo, or other beans, drained
3/4 cup natural peanut butter, chunky or creamy
2 Tbsp. tomato paste
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
1/4 cups fresh cilantro, chopped
1/4 cup squash seeds


1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Place two halves of squash facedown on a baking sheet in about 1/2 inch of water. Place on a middle rack and roast for about 35 minutes, until tender but not too soft.

2. Remove squash from oven and cut into 1-inch cubes.

3. Heat vegetable oil in large pot over medium-high heat. Add onions, garlic, cumin, coriander, salt, curry powder, and cinammon. Cook for 5 minutes or until onion is translucent, stirring to coat with spices and to prevent garlic from burning.

4. Add broth, water, beans, peanut butter, tomato paste, and pepper flakes; stir well. Cover the pot and bring soup to a boil. Reduce and simmer.

5. Scoop out about half of the soup, equal parts vegetables and liquid, and transfer to a blender. Puree and then pour back into the pot.

6. Simmer for five more minutes, uncovered. Meanwhile, heat a small cast iron frying pan over medium heat. Add rinsed butternut squash seeds. Allow water to evaporate; sprinkle with salt and curry powder and toast, stirring frequently, until dry, crunchy, and browned.

7. Ladle soup into bowls. Top with chopped fresh cilantro and toasted squash seeds. Dip some fresh bread into it, if you have some. I've been eating it with slices of Asiago boule, which is one of the loaves we sell at the CitySeed stand.

*This recipe is a modified version of "Peanut and Butternut Squash Soup" found in New Haven Cooks/Cocina New Haven, A Project of CitySeed, Developed by Tagan Engel

Monday, October 25, 2010

Fall Resolutions

Pumpkins at Drazen Orchards in Cheshire, CT

What to do with a blog when it's original purpose has expired? That's what I've been puzzling over for the past month and a half since I last wrote. I've signed in a couple of times, written a couple of half-finished posts (will this be another one?) and fiddled with the design, but haven't gotten up the guts or gusto to click "Publish Post" and thus declare that Girl Awakes lives on in New Haven.

Part of my hesitation is direction: what do I write about now that I'm not skipping around South America anymore? How do I keep this from being random, or boring, or filled with my own banal musings and realizations? Then there's the obvious decline in the appeal of my new locale: New Haven, while it has it's merits, isn't exactly Patagonia. I'm sure that many (most?) of the people who clicked on the link from my mass emails did so in large part to read up on the amazing places I was lucky enough to visit. Who wants to read about my life in Connecticut?

But the truth is, as my friend and biggest blog cheerleader, Meg, told me, "You're still awake, Girl!" and she's right. I am awake, or still awakening, and I still want to record the things I'm thinking and doing and discovering. And, I've decided, I like writing a blog, even if no one reads it. I recently found out that a friend of mine has a secret blog that she hasn't told anyone about--it's not for them, it's for her. As much as I enjoy hearing from friends and family that they read my posts and enjoy them, and as exciting as it is when someone writes a comment, what I like best about writing a blog is writing a blog. Writing for an audience--even if it's only an audience of two--makes me focus and organize my thoughts in a way that I don't do when I write in my journal. This post isn't a good example, but I like thinking about the people who may read a post while I'm writing it; it makes me write to amuse or interest or possibly even inspire them. Now that I'm no longer hiking through three-dimensional Ansel Adams photographs, I'll just have to work extra hard to achieve that.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Muddy Boots and Cacao Fruits


Back in February, on the farm, I met Jose, the Ecuadorian boyfriend of a fellow volunteer, who was volunteering for the month at the farm next door. Soon after she arrived, she offered the rest of us some chocolate, which was an amazing treat, and then told us that Jose’s grandparents had made it from their own cacao fruit, and I was completely in love. After meeting Jose and talking to him a little more about this delicious family business, I asked if I could go and visit. He enthusiastically agreed, and Ecuador was officially added to my itinerary.

The first week and a half in Ecuador were spectacular. Though I’d been to the country twice before, I had seen very little of it, and this time, I was absolutely taken in by all of it: by the green, patchwork rolling hills of the sierras, the misty, fog-shrouded windy mountain roads, the Quichua-speaking, chestnut-skinned Indians of the highlands with their peacock-feathered porkpie hats, and the country’s fondness for my favorite flavor combo: red onion, tomato, cilantro, lime juice, and salt.

Making my way up the center of the country from the south, I was headed to Quito to head off for a tour of the rainforest in the northeast for a few days, after which I planned to try to meet up with Jose’s family and visit their cacao plantation. In typical Sarah fashion, I was really just making it up as I went along, so when I arrived in Quito on a Sunday, I was ready to leave on my jungle tour the following day, and hadn't been in touch with Jose's family at all yet. Having not had an internet connection for the past several days, I was surprised to find in my inbox an email Jose had sent that day, saying that his grandparents, brother and sister were heading to the cacao plantation on the coast the very next morning, and it would be great if I could go with them.

Serendipity. I immediately changed the date for my jungle tour, called Jose's brother Juancho and made arrangements to have them pick me up the next morning and head for the coast. It was a somewhat frenzied hour or so of plan-changing and plan-making, and only afterward did I have a chance to think, with a stomach-butterfly of apprehension, that I was about to tag along on the family vacation of complete strangers, and hope that we all hit it off!

I need not have been worried. Grandpa and Grandma, Pepo and Lili, treated me like one of their own nietas, or grandchildren. Jose's sister Vale was about the most mature fifteen year-old I’ve met; she and I chatted throughout the eight hour drive to the coast. 20 year-old Juancho, his friend Kika, Vale and I spent countless hours that week laughing and storytelling.

The places we visited that week were like settings from a Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel. Sade, the tiny, remote jungle town where the family had a cabin and a cacao and palm plantation, was our first destination. After an eight hour drive north from Quito, taking us across the equator, through mist-shrouded highlands and countless one road tropical villages, their inhabitants gathered around open-air pool tables. Barefooted girls sold tube-like plastic bags of mandarines and juicing oranges to passing motorists. Finally we turned off the paved highway and drove a bumpy hour on a rutted muddy road, which took us past ramshackle cabins on stilts and soldier-like rows of oil palms. A tiny ferry carried us and our loaded down 4x4 pickup truck across a slow brown river, and a nausea-inducing hour later, we arrived at the family's neat little cabin.

The next morning after breakfast, the “kids,” Vicente, and Pepo set off for the hour and a half hike to the cacao plantation. We had stopped on the way to buy me some rubber boots, and within fifteen minutes of walking, I could see why they were the footwear of choice in these parts. We slogged uphill through slippery red mud, pausing occasionally to examine highways of leafcutter ants, giant, iridescent bugs, and tiny frogs, until finally we reached the cabin of the plantation manager at the base of the cacao fields. Vicente led us further uphill, past a stream and through a grove of short, big-leaved trees, their branches dripping with what looked like giant, wine-colored ears of corn, the cacao fruit. He used his machete to remove the thick outer skin, and we passed around the oblong fruit, sucking the juice from the tart, soft, white-skinned flesh around each seed. I never would have guessed that this could be turned into the rich chocolate bar I’d tasted at the farm back in February!



That evening, after hosing down our muddy boots and showering, I went with Pepo and Lilia quarter mile up the road to the school they had helped to build for the local children. Working with a Jesuit organization called Fe y Alegria (Faith and Happiness), Pepo had helped organize the creation of a boarding school for the forty or so students who previously had been walking up to two hours each way for school. Night was falling, and children of all ages played outside on the soccer field, and inside a brightly lit multi-purpose room. On our way home, the young school director and his smiling wife stopped their motorbike to catch up with Pepo, whom everyone in the village greeted as “Ingeniero” or “Engineer.” It was clear from these interactions that “Ingeniero” was a well-loved member of the Sade community.

The following day, Wednesday, we loaded the pickup again and set off for Las Peñas, a beach town four hours away where Pepo and Lili owned a small hotel. On the way, we unexpectedly found ourselves behind a small town parade. Children dressed in traditional afro-Ecuadorian costumes, indigenous costumes, as well as clowns, cheerleaders, drag queens, and…buses. We never quite figured out the occasion for the festivities, but it made for a highly entertaining diversion.



The next few days were spent at Las Peñas, a beautiful coastal village lined with small, thatch-roofed restaurants and simple beachfront hotels. It was a picturesque spot, but despite the warm, sunny weather, we saw not a single tourist while we were there. A few years ago, a band of suspected Colombian paramilitaries had passed through, turning what had been a growing beach destination into the ghost town it is today. Pepo and Lili's small hotel was closed, but Jorge, the hotel caretaker, and his family, were living there and cooked delicious meals for us, including empanadas de verde (plantain), shrimp ceviche, and langostinas, the mini-lobsters that are the primary commodity for the locals, now that tourism has died.



We spent our days there swimming in the calm, shallow Pacific waters, playing hopscotch on the beach, and exploring the nearby coastal caves. On a walk down the road to one of the few functioning, but empty, hotels to use their swimming pool, we passed a small, half-built brick and cinderblock house, nearly hidden by vegetation. Lili told us that the owner had driven from Esmeraldas on the weekends to work on his dream, building by hand what would become a vacation cabin for his family. After six years of work, however, he abandoned the project suddenly, leaving it nearly completed. No one knew why.

The abandoned house was just one of countless characters that littered the balmy north coast. I imagined that he had discovered that his wife was having an affair, and, heartbroken, had given up the dream of a cottage by the beach. Or maybe he stopped coming after the tragic death of a child. That week, my imagination ran wild with stories inspired by this rich and exotic setting and its characters.

The family trip with the Merlos was a highlight of my year. I returned to Quito incredibly grateful to this generous family for letting a random gringa tag along and making her feel like one of the family. It confirmed my suspicion that the best way to travel is by connecting with local people, putting down the Lonely Planet, and taking advantage of unexpected opportunities. And it kindled new friendships that will surely endure far beyond borders and time zones.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Reunited (and it feels so good!)


This is what happens when you're not good at updating your blog: stuff happens in between. In my case, I came home. I still need to write about Ecuador and Colombia, but for now, I'm home! I arrived in New York Monday afternoon, and have been reuniting with Brooklyn and my friends here for a couple of days before heading home to New Haven and Mom and Dad this afternoon.

People keep asking me how it feels to be back, and then are surprised at how enthusiastically positive my response is. The truth is, going abroad this year was the best decision I've ever made. It was such a blessing to be able to travel so extensively, to visit such beautiful places, to have the ability to relax, to learn, to follow my own interests and fancies without compromise or obstacle. But from the beginning, it was very much a finite experience. I set off with the idea of being gone for about a year, so psychologically, I've been prepared for my homecoming for a while. I did a pretty good job of being present for the experience until the end, but I can't travel forever, and as amazing as it was to be in South America, there's nothing like home.

I spent Sunday, my last day in South America, walking around the city by myself, and reflecting a bit on the year. I thought a lot about how the year went, things I'm happy about and what I hope to hold onto now that I'm back, but I'll save all that for a later post. For now, I'm psyched to be in the States, ready to see my parents again, and SO happy for Blue Sky Bakery muffins and iced coffee!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Moving on


Como vuela el tiempo! So much has happened since I last wrote, nearly two months ago. I have a thousand stories to tell, but for now, a recap of Buenos Aires. In brief, I spent the month of June:

1) teaching English to precious little ones at a community center,
2) playing chess and dancing tango with a cute French boy,
3) practicing guitar in my tiny little bedroom,
4) watching the World Cup in corner cafes and outdoor ampitheaters,
5) and cooking and eating and hanging out with my two best chicas, Kenyon and Natalia

Because of all of this, and mostly number 5, saying goodbye to Buenos Aires was sad. I had a nice little life there for a while, spending my time in both unexpected and very familiar pursuits, with muy buena gente.



Emotionally, my two months there were the most turbulent part of my year abroad. It took me a while to find my place in that city, and the experience finally convinced me that I'm much happier living in quieter, greener places. There are times I wonder if I wouldn't have been better off moving on much sooner, to check out other parts of Argentina or Bolivia, or to find another farm volunteership. Maybe my May and June would have been happier. But a smart and self-assured Swiss girl taught me that there's no point in wondering what could have been, because it wasn't.

Ultimately, I wanted to stay put for a while, and so I did. And because I did, I had a chance to try out a bit of a life in Buenos Aires. I got to dip my toes back into the classroom after a year away. I got to learn to dance the sexiest ballroom dance of all in its home city. I finally found my groove once I stopped thinking so much about taking advantage of Buenos Aires, and started taking advantage of my free time, and the opportunity to spend it doing things I love. On July 2, I boarded a bus, on my way to Ecuador. I certainly hadn't "done it all" in Buenos Aires, but in the end, for me, I did it right.


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Las Cosas Que Te Pasan...


A couple of weeks ago an Argentine friend invited me to a film premiere at MALBA, the museum of Latin American art in Buenos Aires. The premiere was for a documentary about an Argentine comic strip artist, Ricardo Siri, better known as Liniers, who has a comic strip called "Macanudo" in La Nacion, one of the daily newspapers here. My friend, Emiliano, is a big fan, and offered to pay for my ticket, so even though I had never heard of this "pibe,"* I accepted.

The documentary was excellent. Liniers, a laid-back, t-shirt-wearing, bespectacled man with an easy laugh and humble aversion to the spotlight, proved to be an incredibly accessible and endearing subject. Liniers' story was told through a mixture of footage of him in action: sketching in the park, at his desk in his apartment/studio, etc., interspersed with revelatory animated cartoons, and voice over narration by the director, an Argentine filmmaker named Franca Gonzalez, who had first gotten to know Liniers while sharing an apartment in Montreal with him as part of an artists' residency.


Sense of humor, and thus cartoons and comics, is very personal; I didn't expect to be taken in by "Macanudo," Liniers' main project. But within minutes, I was "enganchada," --hooked-- on the poignant themes, simply expressed through recurring characters: penguins, gnomes, a small girl and her teddy bear, and Liniers himself, in rabbit form, representing everyday sentiments both revelatory and familiar. I left the theater and spent the bus ride home devouring the book of Macanudo that had been included with the ticket purchase.



The documentary mentioned that a book of his work had come out translated into French, so I looked around a bit to see if it exists in English, but I couldn't find it, and, to be honest, it's probably better that way. In addition to the ingenious way Liniers expresses familiar, everyday ponderings and universal internal conflicts through his drawings, the words and expressions he chooses are Argentine, and this in and of itself is appealing to me.



Spending a good amount of time in the city for the first time on my trip, I've been exposed so much more to Argentine--and specifically, Portenio or Buenos Aires--language, and have become fascinated with its rhythm, tone, slang, and, importantly, accompanying gestures and body language. Liniers captures Argentine speech so well that I can clearly hear and see his anthropomorphic creatures speaking those words in the speech bubbles above their heads. Not only that, but often, the humor targets neuroses or cultural characteristics that are Argentine specific. For this reason, I'm not sure I would have fallen so hard for Macanudo had it been introduced to me six months ago. It's only after being here for eight and a half (!) months that I've gotten under the skin of the country enough to recognize and appreciate its "Argentinidad."


In the documentary and in person, Liniers comes off as humble to the point of shyness--in one scene, he meets up with Franca in a cafe to turn down the documentary project Obviously, he later changed his mind, but the focus is kept to his professional life, with his wife and daughter, who was born during the course of the filming, are only mentioned, but never appear. However, his cartoons are incredibly revelatory and personal. Some give voice to familiar moral dilemmas and inner struggles in such a way that make it clear that Liniers is sharing anecdotes inspired by his own life. Others are like scribbled sighs, transforming the banal into something delightful. In this way, this private man indirectly, but consciously, exposes his heart and soul to the Argentine public every day through Macanudo.


I've included a few gems I found on the interweb. You can find more here.




* pibe (pee-bay) : guy

Photo of Ricardo Siri from http://www.dubidoo.net/category/entrevistas/
Macanudo comics fom http://autoliniers.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Reasons to Love Buenos Aires



I'm fully recovered from my initial city-shock now and soaking in the advantages of urban life, but one discomforting aspect of the city that I noticed upon returning here a few weeks ago, and which I still struggle with, is the overwhelming presence of consumerism. I spent days holed up in my friend Andres's apartment, where I was staying, because, it seemed, to go outside meant to spend money. Of course, this isn't necessarily true, but after spending so much time on the farm, where I was only in the vicinity of commercial institutions once a week or less, and then in nomad mode, where purchases meant a heavier backpack, I found myself suddenly stable, and in the midst of seemingly endless opportunities for consumption. Not only that, but I also was reminded of how easily I fall under the spell of the wizards of retail. These days, my purchases are mostly of the edible variety, as I'm still trying to avoid collecting things which I'll need to find space for in my backpack someday soon. I frequently find, upon arriving home, that I have several bags of various food items hanging from my wrists. This discovery is somehow always surprising.

So in an attempt to overcome the temptation to buy, I set off the other day on a long walk, with the explicit intention to purchase nothing. With the Japanese Garden, several blocks to the north, in mind as my destination (I never did make it there), I went in search of those features of this city that define and enhance it.

I didn't have to look too hard. As I made my way north, through the neighborhoods of Almagro, Villa Crespo, and Palermo, I found Buenos Aires charm on nearly every corner. Here are the fruits of my latest afternoon stroll, and a few of the things that, for this girl, make this city special:

1) Free flowers! Okay, so technically this one involves consumption, but since there's no monetary transaction, let's let it slide. I had only walked a few blocks when I came to the "flower district," an intersection lined with flower shops, which I had passed before, and marvelled at, but which this time offered an important new discovery, which I think has changed my life here. Though it was the middle of the day, boxes of discarded flower bouquets and plant arrangement lined the streets and bordered the dumpsters. I'd been tempted by these flower stalls before, but, unable to reconcile a frivolous purchase of fleeting beauty with the nagging knowledge of the realities of the cut flower industry (pesticides, poor working conditions, etc.) in countries not so far away, I'd until now gone flowerless. Free, dumpster-bound flowers, however, posed less of an ethical hurdle, and so I rescued a still-beautiful bouquet of multi-colored daisies, which spent the day with me, riding around in my backpack (and are still, two days later, brightening up my room in yellow jug by the bed). Though surely not a feature unique to Buenos Aires, this floral free-for-all is a huge discovery--I have already started walking out of my way to pass by, and last night put together another bouquet to give to a friend I was meeting.







2) Old stuff: Cobblestone streets, antique subway cars, antique shops, old cars, nineteenth century architecture--history is everywhere in this city. Not just in the cute, touristy, historic neighborhoods like San Telmo, but all over the city. Cobblestones abound, peaking out here and there from under asphalt caps, or just as often, on proud display for blocks and blocks, in curved, fanning patterns or straightforward rows. Grand, ornate buildings with cornices and gargoyles and large wooden-shuttered windows provide a visual feast, and, though I didn't take it on this particular day, when I'm lucky I get to rest on the wooden benches of the 1920s-era cars of the A-line of the Subte (subway). These still-functioning relics make the city's distant past seem not so far off.




3) Street art: Again, all over the place. Vibrant, wacky creatures, political murals, artistic graffiti tags--they're everywhere, making a walk through the city like navigating a huge, labyrinthine art gallery.



4) Used books: Okay, so another questionable inclusion in this supposedly non-commercial list, but they're used, which in my mind is different, and I have somehow successfully resisted purchasing even a single one. There are rows of stalls lining Parque Centenario, where I go running each day, filling up a pocket of Parque Rivadavia, five blocks west of me, and along a median on Avenida Santa Fe, in Palermo, among other places, I'm sure. Though I haven't been buying books, I love browsing, and the very presence of so many yellowed, crinkly pages all over the place is reassuring.



5) Verdulerias: Fruits and vegetables are so much more alive when displayed on street corners in stacks of rainbow-hued crates. These I do purchase from, daily even, but also find it a soul-warming pleasure to walk by and absorb the vibrant energy of so much fresh produce.


6) Balcones y Terrazas: Especially after being a New Yorker for five years, I have a keen appreciation for the urban 'backyard' known as the balcony. While apartment searching a few weeks ago, it was all I could do not to exclaim out loud in excitement upon being shown the terrace, rooftop, or balcony. Only after visiting four or five apartments, all of which had one or more of these, that I realized that what in my city is practically an urban myth, is considered to be a human right here in Buenos Aires.

Each day I find new things to add to this list. I haven't completely cured my consumption blues, but at least, moving around with an eye out for the subtle beauty Buenos Aires has to offer, I've managed to hold on to a few more pesos.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Ghosts of Buenos Aires


I'm just recently emerging from a funk that I fell into upon returning to Buenos Aires. Last Sunday, after several days of drifting, unsure whether I was staying or leaving, and unable to muster enthusiasm about the many and various wonders of this city, unable to even call forth the excitement and pleasure I had so recently and consistently felt for travel, for adventure, for being abroad, I finally, mercifully, snapped out of it.

I had been staying for a few days with my friend Kenyon, in the charming barrio of San Telmo, and decided last Sunday, after spending way too much time inside watching movies, to get outside and see what there was to see. Right outside her building is a lively weekly craft fair, a dangerous spot to be living. I hadn't meant to seek solace in retail, but before I knew it, I had found a pair of handmade leather sandals that I couldn't resist, even though the temperatures around here continue to drop as winter sets in (I justified the purchase with visions of my upcoming trip to Colombia in August). I made a brief attempt to enter the madness of the Bicentennial events, set up along a closed-off avenue not too far away, but was immediately traumatized by the rushing current of stroller-pushing parents and their flag-toting children, and extracted myself as quickly as I entered.

I headed back to San Telmo, and by that time it had started to rain--the first real rain since I had arrived in Buenos Aires two weeks earlier. People out "paseando" took cover under awnings, umbrellas, and newspapers, and I was grateful to duck into the indoor antique market and wait out the storm digging for treasures and souvenirs. I began asking around for yerba tins, something like this to bring home as a souvenir, but I was soon sidetracked by a stall with two huge crates of old black and white photographs.

Forty-five minutes later, my hands full of other people's precious, faded memories, I was utterly transfixed. Unable to part with any of the gems that I had found, I finally pried myself away, and ended up spending as much on the photos as I had on the sandals. The images are incredible: Grandma crouching next to four little ones--all in bathing suits, sun-bronzed, squinting against the bright beach sun; two smiling women in the backseat of a twenties-era convertible, their male companion, seemingly oblivious to the camera, taking a swig from a bottle.



And my favorite: five well-dressed young folks, in their teens and young twenties, probably siblings, posing for a portrait. Each is looking in a different direction, and smirking in unavoidable delight at a shared private joke. The photo was taken probably seventy years ago, their hairstyles antiquated and their clothing old-fashioned, yet I couldn't help but smirk back, in knowing recognition of such a timeless game.



I found so many that called to me, for reasons both obvious and mysterious. The shopkeeper, a middle-aged woman who readily agreeing with me about the power and beauty of these simple snapshots, gave me a discount, and despite the fact that I still paid the equivalent of two nights at a hostel, the treasure was well worth it.



When I left the market, night had fallen and the rain was letting up. I found a nearby cafe, and over my beer and salad, sifted through the photos again, a smile lighting on my face as I studied each one. Beaches, vacations, car trips, family portraits--such typical subjects and settings, yet there was something inexplicably special about these images. Somehow, inexplicably, time-traveling to another time, to the Buenos Aires of unknown ghosts, the fog lifted, and life was good again.